Don't Believe It Anymore
by mollygibbs101
Summary: A song fic, taken from an outstanding performance by Cote de Pablo. One of two fics by myself and Ishty. Thank you so much earanemith for posting the vid and song on Youtube! Just awesome! XD


Gibbs/Ziva fic: I Don't Believe It Anymore

Romance/Hurt/Comfort

K+ Rating

Hey! Basically myself and Ishty *nods to her friend* have decided to write a fic each, with the same inspiration... the amazing, one and only Cote de Pablo. If you are interested in hearing her song, please visit my profile :)

Anyway, Ish and myself have interpreted this song in different ways but both have the same outcome... ZIBBS! Ok, maybe Ishty's is more father/daughter but it's still Gibbs and Ziva lol :)

My interpretation is of how Ziva misses her brother and how much she loves him. At the end of the day guys, he was still her brother, despite everything. *looks at last sentence* Ooh look at me getting all sentimental. Possibly OCC, but hey, I don't care.

I Don't Believe It Anymore

Gibbs sighed as he turned off his car and unbuckled his belt, he looked at his tired reflection in the rear view mirror before looking at the place he called home. He let his hands fall off of the steering wheel. He knew something was wrong with Ziva, hell, he knew what was wrong, this was his Ziver after all. He opened the door and got out and went into his house, he was about to call his lover when he heard a piano playing softly. He walked as stealthily as he could to where she was and the sight he saw nearly broke his heart. Ziva had a photo of her brother on the part of the piano where the sheets of music should be. Gibbs was close enough to see that it was a young care free Ari and a young Ziva in the photo, looking happy, but he was far enough away that Ziva didn't notice him watching her. Gibbs leant against the doorframe as he watched her.

_I used to believe in love_

_I used to believe in fate_

_I used to believe that I could find my way_

Gibbs listened as she begun her song. Her voice was strong and it was full of raw emotion. She was singing from her heart.

_I used to believe in miracles_

_I used to believe in God above_

_Now I see my faith has been betrayed_

Gibbs could guess how and by whom her faith was shattered by, that man she called a father. He sent her to kill him, even if she did volunteer, the result was inevitable. Eli may as well have pulled the trigger himself.

_As I get closer to the truth_

_I can finally see my destiny..._

She found the truth, Eli used her and twisted her path to forge her destiny. But Ziva got past that and found her own path and was forfilling her own destiny. What happened to her brother was an eye opener for her to do so.

_And if I find the way to make it all seem right_

_You would still be gone_

_And I would be here alone_

It was true, even if everything had played out differently. Ari would have been killed and she would still be without her big brother. She had told him once that she idolised Ari, he was her big brother, her protector. It was because of Ari, that Ziva knew love.

_I don't believe it anymore_

_I don't believe it anymore_

Because of Ari turning into what Ziva was promised he wouldn't turn into and Eli's manipulative games, Ziva simply stopped believing in happy endings.

_All these tears can't wash away_

_the pain I keep inside_

Gibbs' gut twisted as he remembered how he had held his lover as she mourned for the loss that was her brother. In his opinion, if it wasn't for Ari, he wouldn't have her and she wouldn't have him.

_I don't believe it anymore_

_I don't believe it anymore_

_And I can pray but it won't change_

_The way I felt before_

Gibbs knew how Ziva wished she could hate Ari, perhaps it could make the loss easier. It was a heavy burden she had to carry.

_I don't believe it anymore._

As his Ziver sung that line, he could hear the fight leave her body. It was like a confession. Gibbs inhaled and walked to where she was and he felt her jump for a second as he rest his hand on her shoulder. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye and she carried on, borrowing Gibbs' strength for something they both knew she needed.

_I used to love the rain,_

_I used to love the night,_

_I used to live where others used to hide._

Gibbs smiled as he could see the curve of her cheeks break into a smile. She was remembering games they played as children.

_But now that's not a part of me,_

_And all I see can't be believed._

_A falling star alone against an endless sky._

Ziva leant into his touch, his thumb rubbing her shoulder in a comforting motion. She could feel her eyes well up with tears as she remembered her brother.

Gibbs reflected the words she was singing. There was no more family for Ziva, she was the star alone in the sky.

_If is you I are you blind. She's not here but you can cry_

_Put your feelings close,_

_They're right outside the door._

_Your heart can't always see what your eyes just still ignore_

Her voice went high and Gibbs could tell that the damn had broke, she was putting her heart and soul into the song.

_I don't believe it anymore._

_I don't believe it anymore._

_All these tears can't wash away,_

_The pain I keep inside._

_I don't believe it anymore._

_I don't believe it anymore._

_But all that's left is emptiness,_

_And darkness fills the light._

Gibbs felt a lump appear in his throat. Her song was so sad, from the bottom of her heart. He took a moment to think... what she was singing about, was exactly how he felt after Shan and Kelly went. He was determined to help her through the massive loss of her brother.

_I still love rainbows,_

_I still love fantasies,_

_And I still love everything._

That was the part of Ziva, that let her imagination and childlike wonder run free.

_[ To be the way it was,_

_When you were here. ]_

Gibbs lowered his head and buried his wet face into her hair as she sang with all of her hearts content.

_[ Love can blind you,_

_Love can save you,_

_Love can bring you,_

_All the joy. ]_

_Love..._

And as she hit her high note, Gibbs' heart swelled. 'You go for it girl', he thought to himself.

_[ Love can blind you,_

_Love can save you,_

_Love can bring you,_

_All the joy. ]_

She came down gently from her high note, her slender fingers barely lifting from the keys, as if all of her energy had gone.

_I used to believe in love,_

_I used to believe in fate,_

_I used to believe in miracles..._

Her voice barely a whisper. As she played the last note Gibbs moved his head to press a kiss to her temple. Choking out a sob, Ziva spun and buried her head into the crook of Gibbs' neck. Gibbs stroked her hair as she soaked his shirt with her tears. Tears falling from his own eyes as he held her and replayed her song in his head.

'' I miss him.'' cried Ziva through broken sobs. Gibbs held her tighter.

'' I know Ziver, I know.''


End file.
